Welcome to the #365Firsts Podcast and the Expert Advice Before Your First Time Series. The show aims to encourage, prepare, and inspire you to do things you’ve never done before and complete your #365FirstsChallenge list.
In each episode of this series, we give you tips and advice to set you up for success, for specific firsts and new experiences. The guests and topics are as varied as the options and possibilities of new experiences.
Whether you’re trying to learn a new skill, improve your health and happiness, work on your self-development, add excitement and adventure to your life, or simply have first times, you’re going to love our podcast.
In This Episode
As we come up to Valentine’s Day, more and more people will be reflecting on their relationships and the next move in their love life. Today, we’re joined by a bonafide love expert, who excels in helping people make the most of their relationships with each other.
In this episode, we’re joined by Lisa Concepcion to talk about cohabitation. Moving in with a significant other is a big life move, so Lisa’s expertise is very helpful in making this exciting move the right one for you.
The Guest Expert
Our guest expert, Lisa, is a certified professional love life strategist. She’s an expert in the field, and the founder of the incredible website LoveQuestCoaching.com – a website that is dedicated to helping Type-A professionals who want to improve their love life.
She’s present on a number of different social media pages and platforms, including YouTube where she offers over 550 incredible videos. She’s a resident expert for EliteDaily.com and Bustle.com, and has been featured by many other media outlets. Lisa has a private Facebook group, a weekly LoveBlast micro-coaching email and other social media ventures too.
To put it simply, she’s incredibly busy. Her coaching style offers a ‘NO BS’ perspective, driven by real results, action and personal intuition.
What You Need To Know About Cohabitation For The First Time
Lisa started off the podcast by discussing how many love experts get into the field, and highlighted her own experiences with experiences like getting divorced and experiencing rebound relationships. These relationships made her feel like a control freak and very co-dependent, so she got into her current field through exploring her own life experiences and applying what she learned.
The conversation then moved to Lisa’s first cohabitation experience, where she was dating her now ex-husband in college. It just seemed to make sense at the time, due to their work and class schedules. They ended up living with three other roommates, and shared a room together.
Start with the Money Conversation
In terms of planning a move with someone you truly value, Lisa made it clear the first conversation and point of consideration is money. Take note of your expenses, and what both of you can afford. Don’t get yourself into a situation where only one person is in charge of the rent money, or one person isn’t contributing.
Communication is absolutely key, and it’s important to be very frank with your significant other about what type of house or apartment it is that you’re looking to rent or purchase and what you want to get out of a living arrangement.
In terms of timing, Lisa advised she normally gives a relationship the full four seasons before making any major moves like moving in together. The first three months are usually just about getting to know each other, whereas this may develop more seriously in the next three months in regards to social events or public relationship trials. Pacing is beautiful and vital too.
Really understanding your partner is vital for a successful cohabitation, and Lisa suggests taking a few vacations together to get to know them better. This includes elements like personal cleanliness and habits with tidying, meal times or bedtime routines. These personal elements take a lot of time to understand.
Going all-in too quickly can ultimately be a red flag for new relationships.
Lisa reiterated cohabitation is a huge deal for relationships, and that people – especially young people – need to consider all the implication. Plan your next move carefully, and consider what your end game with your partner is.
Recommended way to Merge Lives
An interesting point Lisa made was that it’s normally much more effective for both people in the relationship to merge what they have and buy or rent a new house/apartment together, instead of just inviting one person to move into the other’s home. Fresh, mutual energy is incredibly positive and reinvigorating.
Knowing your role in relations to your partner is also very important. Lisa gave the example of doing someone else’s laundry and noted you shouldn’t do “wifey” things if you’re not moving in as the person’s wife (or heading in that direction), for example. Clarity is so important in the early stages of this move. She mentioned other things like chores, cooking, and the many responsibilities of running a household with a significant other.
It’s smart to understand cohabitation laws. Some states have common laws, where if you live together for a certain amount of years you might be entitled to certain rights. The legal aspect may not be the most interesting aspect of moving in with your lover, but it’s important to approach it maturely and responsibly.
The Exit Plan
Looking at what might happen if the relationship doesn’t work out is vital too, if a little morbid. Consider your lease or mortgage, and look into shared assets like furniture or pets too. Of course, be optimistic and happy with your significant other but be realistic as well.
Overall, the main thing Lisa encouraged was to heighten communication levels with your significant other. Be as upfront and clear as you can with your goals, and remember to take this important life move slowly so it goes as well as possible for you.
Get In Touch With Lisa
This was a lovely episode to film, especially as we come up to Valentine’s Day. Lisa’s website is https://www.lovequestcoaching.com, and her social media links are as follows;
If you’ve got any further questions, we’re sure that Lisa would be more than happy to speak with you and have a chat about cohabitating.
How To Reach Us
Are there particular topics that you’d like to see, or something you want advice on? Is there something that you think we could be doing better? We’d be more than happy to speak with you and hear your feedback on our show.
Feel free to get in touch with a member of our team at firstname.lastname@example.org today, to let us know what you think of the work that we’ve been doing so far.
What’s Coming Up Next Time?
A new episode of Expert Advice Before Your First Time is released every Tuesday and Thursday, and we’ve got an amazing roster of expert guests lined up to give you more advice.
In our next episode, we’ll be speaking with Michele Velasquez on the 13th about proposing for the first time. After that episode, we’ll be chatting with Adrianna on the 18th of February about attending a music festival for the first time. You can listen and subscribe on Apple, Google, or Spotify. While you’re there – please leave a review if you can. It really does help us out with our work, and each review is truly appreciated.